If you could retire early, what would you do with your life?

This guy chose to retire early and spend his days playing video games and getting high:

Dude makes more money than his wife, contributes to the chores of the household, and plans annual vacations. What’s his wife’s problem?

The honest truth is that the problem is the husband AND the wife lack purpose.

How do I know this?

They don’t have kids. He just wants to “chill”.

If you are not challenging yourself, then you’re doing something wrong.

From the book The Obstacle is the Way, Ryan Holiday teaches that challenges aren’t something to avoid; it’s the path forward, forcing us to grow stronger, more disciplined, and more capable. Choosing the easy path for too long leads to stagnation, but embracing challenges ensures we continually evolve and fulfill our purpose.

And what is that purpose for a man?

The key element missing from the retired loser’s life is a family to provide for and to protect.

Which leads to a larger problem: our generation is not having children.

We are feeding our children the lie that pursuing a career or “your passion” is the most important part of life

Transcript from the relevant section of the video above:

Isabel: “You mentioned earlier something that stuck with me—that embracing marriage or motherhood in the past, for our mothers and grandmothers, was about elevating the men in their life rather than putting themselves first. Can you elaborate on that?”

Bronte: “Yeah, absolutely. Typically, women were encouraged to stay home, take care of the house, and take care of the kids, while their husband—the father of their children—went after their dreams. They pursued promotions, dedicated their life to work, and focused on whatever their passion and purpose were.”

“Women’s jobs weren’t necessarily to discover what their purpose and passions were, especially if it happened to be outside of motherhood and wifehood. Instead, they were encouraged to support their husband’s ambitions and pick up all the pieces while he was out there.”

Important note: I want to make it clear that I am NOT advocating for forcing women to only birth children and stay in the kitchen. The purpose of this email is to explore what we should teach our children, more specifically, should we teach our children to prioritize “follow your passions” or “build a family”.

In the video above, Bronte is making the claim that before feminism, women were forced to stay at home while the husbands could pursue their passions. For the sake of argument, let’s ignore that the majority of work is done for the sole purpose of income, and not because it’s a passion that the worker enjoys.

I want to specifically focus on the line of thinking that it’s a burden, a chore, to stay at home with the kids when the husband is out working. This line of thinking changes a man and women’s purpose from raising a wonderful, loving, successful family to “how can I maximize my individual happiness?”

Transcript from the relevant section of the video above:

Isabel: “I think this speaks to a larger trend in how purpose and fulfillment are being packaged to people, not just women, in 2024 postmodern America. We talk about the burden of raising someone, the burden of managing someone's schedule or lifestyle if they are your child—that 76% of women have to do this, and very few men do.”

“The problem I’m noticing with postmodern feminism, as it’s packaged into pretty much everything in our lives—pregnancy, giving birth, raising children, being married in a beautiful relationship for the rest of your life—is that we are framing everything in a way that is oriented toward “me, me, me.” I deserve less stress. I deserve less mental load in my life. I deserve XYZ.”

“Ultimately, I think we are building, brick by brick, a very selfish society in the process. It’s why we’re constantly self-conscious, self-obsessed, self-absorbed, and, frankly, really struggling with internal questions of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and suicide, which have become far too normal today among young women.”

“In reality, we should be asking the question: What can I do for my society? It is a blessing to give your time to someone else. It is a blessing to serve your family and to raise the next generation of children. That’s not to say there aren’t hardships associated with that, but we’ve convinced several generations of people in this country that the only thing that should come first is their immediate wants today. Over decades and a lifetime, this has proven to be incredibly devoid of purpose and meaning.”

We are feeding our children the lie that the goal is to be stress free, to not work, to focus only on “my happiness”

Of course every person is going to make their own individual decision.

What I am simply pointing out is that we have a choice about what we teach our children. I know for a fact that our generation, Millennials, was taught to delay marriage and kids for as long as possible in order to prioritize our careers and make money (and having fun being single).

And I’m pointing out that the result is an increase in anxiety and depression (there are of course many other contributors to this):

What I am teaching my daughters

Important note: Again, because this is a sensitive topic, I want to make it clear that I am NOT teaching my daughters that they can only amount to being homemakers. By all means, if they choose to be astronauts, teachers, engineers, I will 100% support them. I am simply pointing out what I believe are the priorities in life.

I am teaching my daughters that mothers and fathers have the most important jobs in the world, that being a mother is not a burden; rather, it’s the most fulfilling purpose that one can achieve. Yes, you can go after a career, be an innovator, build an audience, but ultimately, the most important and meaningful job that you will ever do in your life is take care of your household (which includes raising children and supporting your husband).

Why am I obsessed with this topic? Because my father taught me to not get married and to sleep with as many women as possible.

Thankfully, I ignored my dad’s teachings.

You and I are now raising the next generation of children. What are you going to teach them to prioritize: their individual happiness, or to fulfill a grander purpose?

Thanks for being here with me. If you found my email valuable, then the best compliment that you can give me is to share it with someone else.

My long term vision is to teach teenagers how to build and run their own business. I think for the most part, college is a waste of time and money, so I’m going to give teenagers another option to create wealth for their future families by building their own internet business.

See you next week.

- Jun Loayza